So today not much happened, though everyone at work thought my hair looked great. I’m going to be learning to style it different ways from not on. i god some Axe hair gel and paste. Along with hairspray.
Okay enough about my hair, I’ve been doing okay recently its been harder and harder without her support. She’s kinda a friend but she has her moments and i just wanna walk away and let her live her life. Though she doesn’t let me she says its rude and that i’m basically ignoring her and what not. Which i am it’s just hard to talk and joke with her at times. Specially when i think she might be dating someone new soon. Which also doesn’t surprise me. She jumps into relationships and think shes going to be better off when she should just wait and be with just friends. Though she’s constantly on my mind and i’m working on trying to just let it all be. Put it in a little box and try to move forward with my life. She taught me a lesson that ill never forget.I’ll never forget it. I need to be honest even though it scares me to death. I had been friends with her for years and never could tell her, because i never wanted to lose her specially if she knew the truth. it’s the hardest thing i ever did was tell her the truth. It felt freeing but in turn i lost her. I don’t want anyone else to feel that pain and i don’t ever wanna make someone feel like that again. i wanna do better and be better. So i’m going to be on my own and working on myself. Learning from my mistakes and never letting them happen again.
I miss her though and i love her even though she hates me.
So here they are! i feel so much more like myself now. i feel 100 times better. My family finally accepted that i was cutting it and was even encouraging me towards the end. I hope that part of them stays when i tell them the truth. it would mean the world if they could. But i wont get my hopes up at all with that. its better that i dont. Today was a good day and i’m happy about that.
So in the next few minutes ill be getting all my haircut off. Ill post before and after pics for yall.
So tomorrow i’m getting my haircut, i told my mother today and she didn’t like that i was cutting off all my hair at all. She was like so its going to look boyish and i was like Yep. She didn’t like it at all. She gave me a dirty look and said let me see that picture again. She thought about it as i was making my food then i left the room. I dont know how shes going to actually feel about it when it does actually come off. I’m looking forward to getting it all cut off and feeling just a bit better about myself. It will help me be who i finally want to me. its not a big step but its a step towards what i am and who i truly am. I can’t wait for this and so much more. I want everyone to know who i am on the side.
I’m still working on getting my GoFundMe account some donations. Even a few dollars helps. I’m working on getting my own fundraiser going but its going to take a few. Here’s the link again: GoFundMe
Please help or share/retweet that link!
How are yall today? I’m doing good. kinda. working on all my plans to move to Arizona! I dont know what all i’ll need though. I’m going to be working a lot of hours the next few weeks so i’m hoping to be able to save up, but what i need to know is what will i need to do when i get there paperwork wise. Along with doctor visits and finding a job. So any advice on moving to another state? About finding a job? what about doctor appointments?
So recently I’ve been looking into the costs for top surgery. I know i wont have insurance when i try to go for top surgery. Ill have to save up for it. I’ve been seeing different amounts. I’ve been sharing GoFundMe fundraisers and what not for others. I wanted to make sure i knew the ball park price. I plan to be in Arizona for at least the top surgery and living there for a year or more. I just wanted to ask around and maybe get a few names on Doctors.
Also again MyGoFundMe page click that and go to my link. Still saving for my big move.
One last thing, next Sunday i’m finally going to be cutting my hair short. its my first big step to showing who i am and what i am. so wish me luck!
Truth, is so many different things in life. Sometimes its hard to tell the truth when you have lied about it your whole life. To be completely honest with people because of that one lie. Because you have always told it, that its hard to tell the truth. For someone to be completely truthful to someone. They have to trust you with their life basically. I told one of my real close friends on Thursday. She took it well and said she figured it out without me telling her. It was like the world lifted off my shoulders. I mean its not my parents or family but it was a huge step for me. To tell someone that sees me everyday because we work together it felt amazing to tell her. She doesn’t know the name i picked for myself but one step at a time right?
My next step is cutting my hair, and possibly going to the doctor. Of course i’m still finding ways of saving and working my ass off at work. I cant wait to actually start saving soon and making a real dent in the savings account. Wish me luck.